It seems to me that the best thing to do to someone, in Christian theology, would be to kill them, that way they get to heaven sooner. I realize that's stupid and no one believes it, but I wonder why.
It also seems like they should support abortion and all that wonderful embryo-destroying stuff, (unless, of course, the "soul" needs to be baptized to be saved, or some other ritualistic thing). Those little piles of cells incapable of life on their own wouldn't even really have to start living, and they'd get straight to heaven! (Actually, I wonder what a blastocyst soul in heaven would look like, hmmm.) Or maybe god sends blastocysts to hell. Who really knows? (I bet someone thinks they do!)
I'm sure that someone's come up with a solution to this, and it's probably over 500 years old (because I know that the older an idea is, the more respect we should give it!). But really, it doesn't matter, because it would undoubtedly be something so silly and asinine that I'd have to laugh (just like the rest of theology).